Fifteen anniversary

The autumn's chill and briskly air outside brings me back to that horrific memory of my husband untimely death ... I miss him so much that my heart still aches. Fred, you're in my mind and my thoughts 7/24 since that darkest date of my life as I stood there held your hand and praying that God wouldn't take you away... time passes by so fast but as for me it seems like yesterday as I was sitting by your bed next to you in the hospital room in Chicago. We're talking about our future, our work, our children, and your new tavern in Spring Valley. I remember you're so excited about that bar ever since you begun to write its business plan and working toward your MBA degree at the same time. You graduated that September and didn't get a chance to attend your graduation ceremony, so on your behalf I went to Frostburg University that fall and received your diploma for you... and I remember you said that you couldn't wait to go back there (tavern) to see how well its doing. If ONLY I've known of your condition then I'd have fought back with you and hospital staffs to keep you in the hospital few more days until your poor heart is well again but I didn't know, I couldn't tell... and that same night in a blink of an eye you were gone... forever. Leaving me and the kids all alone. I still am blaming myself for not thinking clearly during those crisis moments. Life is so hard without you. You're in my heart and I love you still...

If tears could built a stairway,
and memories were a lane,
I would walk right up to heaven
to bring you home again.
No farewell words were spoken,
no time to say goodbye,
you were gone before I knew it,
and only God knows why.
My heart still aches in sadness and
sacret tears still flow,
what it meant to love you,
no one will ever know.

Cubs won!

Fred would be out of his mind, he would have gone stir crazy if he was here... as you all know he was a Die-Hard Cubs Fan all of his 58 and some years. On Sunday, September 14, 2008, Chicago Cubs played against the Houston Astros at the Miller Park in Milwaukee...because of the effect of Hurricane Ike in Houston, pitcher Carlo Zambrano threw a no-hitter and the Cubs won 5-0. The first no-hitter for the Cubs in 36 years. Cubs defeated the Astros 6-1 again on Monday night game...

Even his little granddaughter Brenna was cheering for the Cubs... actually she was just posing... sitting on Cubs'chair and wearing Cubs' hat.

Memorial Day 2008

This year I went with Jen, Jason, Brea and their new baby boy to Arlington National Cemetery to visit Fred. It's first time for Brea and baby Justin to come visit their grandfather's grave although Fred was gone long before the children borned.

Happy Birthday Fred!!!

My dearest Fred, my love, I wish you were still here with me today. I would bake you a biggest chocolate cake ever to celebrate your birthday and knowing that our children and grandchildren would love to celebrate your seventy-third birthday with you and watch you blow out all of the candles on the cake, however...

On a chill day in the autumn of September evening of more than 14 years ago, God decided to take you home without a word of good-bye... I will never forget that day and a saddest look in your eyes… I knew… but you are forever in my heart, in my thoughts each and every second of the day. With silence around me and only my footsteps for company, my thoughts are with you. As the cold winter breeze caresses my face, my thoughts are with you. As tears swell up in my eyes, my thoughts are with you. With love in my heart, I think of you. Happy Birthday Sweetheart, I love you...